Again the game is not complete so yeah, there will be some blind choices offered and you will have to learn to make good builds. I belive (not that it was said to be planned I think) that once the final build comes out there would be some pre-made characters, kinda like fallout had. It's not optimal starting builds but they are decent enough to get you through.
I'll go as far as giving you an idea of how to build a character.
Primary statistic at 10! So str 10 if you want to mellee, Perception 10 if you want to use ranged weapons or will 10 if you want to use psi-powers.
You can chose one statistic to have at 3 in most cases. As you seen In my vid I opted for str since it wouldn't affect my abillity to use crossbows. As a gunner I put my will at 3 since i won't use psi-abillities.
Skills. Always have 2 combat skills. To focus on only means will mean you are not adaptable enough to any situation. Mellee then to take throwing with it. Guns also tend to take throwing but you can put crossbows instead or maybe mellee but your mellee damage will be lower than a mellee guy due to a lower str. Psi abillities can take anything but it is in my opinion better with crossbows.
You should always take lockpicking and hacking because you can get more loot (don't forget to buy a haxxor from ezra before heading out and a couple bateries, also get a few lockpicks, maybe 2 or 3.
Get stealth to initiate combat on your own terms rather than on enemy terms.
Not required at the beggining but if you want to get all quests possible then get persuasion. I think to get you everything you need 45 effective points, I go for 50 myself to make sure.
Feats vary. Mellee guys will want to start with sprint for sure. Anyone who uses a gun or a crossbow cannot live without aimed shot in my opinion. My advice is to do a little bit of research on the wiki, there aren't many so it is easy research, find the requirements and plan accordingly. Also don't forget that every 2 levels you gain a feat and every 4 levels you gain one abillity point.
It is not absurd that there are good builds and bad builds. It is good that there is the option to even have bad builds. Who knows I want to make it even harder on myself? But still it's bad mentallity when a game just gives you everything. You don't have to worry about nothing and go on being a one man army. Choices will influence gameplay and while I don't often like to compare vidio games to real life. If you eat roten cheese, you can't complain about the taste, you chose to eat it after all. Similarly if you don't try to make a good character in a vidio game, you can't complain that it sucks, it was you who made it that way.
I remember when I played fallout 2 for the first time (yeah, I played 2 before 1). Being killed left and right. Only after I started to learn how to make proper builds did I hhad chances at winning. This isn't a game done wrong, this is a game done right but hey, it's an opinion after all and we all know what opinions are like.
As for the being a lot of busy work. any good old time cRPG has that. It's the way you learn the game and indeed a lot of the beggining is talking to A and B getting quests and stuff. After that it smooths out. You don't need to go back for healing often. You have like 2 more of those so called busy work quests. one to catch hoppers after you do the first mission. It basicly teaches you how to catch critters to sell and you'll get one more later one which teaches you how to fish. all of these are done in order to show you how to have some profitable abillities if you find yourself lacking just a little bit of money for this or that... Again, any cRPG has a bit of busy work front loaded because you need to get quests and be introduced to NPCs of interest, then like all cRPGs, it evens out.
To be honest I think your main problem with this game is that you are a little too used to the new games which just make you jump right into the action as a killing machine with no worries of anything whatsoever. All I can really tell you is to give it a real chance, just say to yourself. I'm gonna beat this shit cause no fucking computer game is better than me. And just do it. You'll find yourself enjoying this more and more as you sail along, you can be sure of that. But again, do a proper build.